Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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