Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
