Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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