I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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