I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Ketchup is God's man juice
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Drunk is not a location!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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