god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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