All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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