You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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