from now on my penis is your penis
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
