i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
