all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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