That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
