She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
