4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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