The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
