I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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