That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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