I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
