Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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