my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
