Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
There's always time for handjobs
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
