I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I am one with the molecules
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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