Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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