So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
