You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
