I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
