WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
