It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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