I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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