wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
