ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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