and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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