FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
