I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
