I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
