i just google imaged poop.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
