she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
