True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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