I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
