Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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