i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I love having hate sex.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
