Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
