I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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