so that wasnt chicken after all
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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