return my video game
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
