you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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