I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
