The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
