In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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