watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
